I have often said it and will keep saying it: Never let the actions or words of another person define your worth as an individual. When people misbehave and say or do hurtful things, it only defines the kind of persons they are. Their words and actions reveal their own character and personal content, not yours.
This has nothing to do with you, so why should you be burdened by another man’s insensitiveness? I have come across a good number of men and women who are broken; I mean those whose lives are shattered by the demeaning disposition of spouses, partner, siblings, parents, and even so called friends.
We all want to hear people say nice things to us and about us, because we were created for appreciation, not insults and abuse. So definitely, you won’t feel good when the latter comes your way. This clearly should tell you that something is deficient about apathetic people. If you feel sad, let it be because you feel sorry for them and not for yourselves.
We have often heard that we should go to where we are celebrated and not tolerated, yet we find it difficult to cut ourselves loose. This is because we are made for relationships and so we develop bonds with others. However, relationships should build us up not tear us apart physically or emotionally. Bonds should make us stronger and not keep us in bondage.
I want you to free yourself from these heartaches. You must learn to detach from words and actions that don’t build you up. Even if you think you deserve them, why do you feel bad when they occur? It is because they don’t belong to you. You may not be able to change your location but you can switch your mind off from the demeaning conduct of those close to you by changing what you believe about them.
Keep your dignity and remember, any time you don’t feel good about what’s been said or done to you, know that it is because it doesn’t belong with you. So set yourself free. There’s no need to talk back or argue, just learn to disconnect from within. However, if the effect of such sarcasms gets unbearable and tells on your emotional or even physical health, please talk with a counsellor. When troublesome people see that you no longer react to their actions, they know they have lost their power.
You have the ability to keep a sound mind. In actual fact, it is not what people do to us that hurt us; it is what we believe about it. Change your perspectives and you will have a more peaceful life.
There’s a more fulfilling life for you out there; reach for it!