Are you disabling or enabling dysfunctions? Do you desire to help another but feel stuck with a situation getting worse? It’s time to be free!
If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere – MSG (1Cor 13:3)
It is interesting to note that though all of love is giving, yet not all giving is love. When your giving enables dysfunction, then it becomes destructive and not constructive as you would have hoped it to be.
This necessitates the need for discernment. The intention to help another should be actualized through a medium or process that works in the best interest of the helped (individual needing professional intervention).
Often times, codependents need to develop a high self esteem and assertive skills as a lack of these is often the root of latching on to high maintenance and depletive relationships.
The healthy way to communicate love and care is not to get others totally dependent on you but to encourage restoration and development of personal potentials so they can be fully functioning members of society. Making up excuses and covering up for inappropriate attitudes is never a sign of healthy love.
The affirmations below will help you in developing a healthy self concept and some wisdom requisite in making meaningful contributions in helping others.
- I am loved by God. I am made in His image and likeness. I am specially created by God because He values my existence.
- Nothing can separate me from the love of God, neither my failures nor my struggles. I am always precious to Him and regardless of my life experiences I will always be worthy of love.
- I am able to love others because God loves me. I love in the same way He loves me, and so I don’t and won’t encourage destructive behaviour under the guise of caring.
- It is always better for me to confront issues openly than say I’m loving in secret. Love is kind and not self seeking. Love is not happy about improper conduct or lifestyle. I show love by supporting others to get their lives in the best form for them to fulfill their productive potentials in life.
- I am bold. God hasn’t given me a fearful spirit. I do what is right for myself and others without fear of criticism. I am confident. I know God is with me.
*Caveat: this article is strictly for encouragement and enlightenment purposes only. For diagnosis and/or therapy, consult a mental health care professional. You can reach me through my social media platforms @fullandfree / Tiwa Soriyan.
………because everyone deserves a fulfilling life!